Why It’s Been Awhile

I’m going to blend several subjects* here at once and it will be messy. But I promise to come back to them in more detail when it can sound more devotional in my head. The simple answer to the “Why It’s Been Awhile” is that I was tired.

But when we say “I’m tired” we usually mean something more than that, right? I’m tired because… ??? Well, for me it was that I was preparing for the school year, dealing with severe anxiety and spiritual battle, and just generally numb and didn’t want to write. Truthfully, I’m still dealing with all of those things.

For a hot minute I would’ve been fine with forgetting the blog and just focusing on design which requires a little less from me mentally, or I would’ve started writing topics that weren’t too personal. I don’t think that’s what God wants me to do though. Too often we write our praise of God from after the trial. We write about what He did for us. We are ambassadors of the past tense, and I don’t want to be that. Afterall, momma’s, aren’t we living very present lives raising kids? They kind of keep us in that state of mind.

So this is your “take a deep breath” moment. Rather you’re a homeschool teacher, dealing with anxiety, or don’t feel like doing “it”, please remember that we were created for this day, hour, minute. We may only have this time. Think of Esther and “such a time as this”. She found herself right in the middle of a situation that she could’ve easily ignored, but she recognized her purpose. It’s hard to see past the stress and anxiety or the numbness when it’s all just become too much. But God is our Jehovah-shammah and He is there with us. We are ambassadors who are here for such a time as this. 

I don’t want to just come here and write in the great moments. I want to praise God in the midst of the hard moments where He is still here with me, and I know there will be a light at the end of the tunnel whatever that may look like down the road. 

2 Corinthians 5:20

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

Esther 4:14

For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

*Homeschooling, ambassadors, and “such a time as this” are all topics I’d like to come back to at another time.