Bitterness Toward Personality Differences

Have you ever been told it’s okay that you get along better with some people than others? I think this is important to state at least once for you. You aren’t broken and they aren’t broken in this situation. That is, if we are just talking about personalities…

Personality quizzes and tests have become very popular in the last decade. My first podcasting experience was actually with a friend discussing these quizzes and personalities. In fact this kind of information has become so common that people use their personality results as an excuse for their behavior, yet there is still a misunderstanding among people when they just don’t end up in the same groups as others. They still take it personally. In my opinion, those are two extremes.

This week I will look at the latter extreme first. I know, it’s backwards, but I think that one needs to be understood in our hearts first. My daughter is at an age where she is having to learn this lesson. She still thinks she must be friends with everyone and that everyone must like her. The truth is that sometimes we just don’t mesh with someone, and that’s okay. Too often I see adults still struggling with this reality. The result is not only bitterness of the heart but often outwardly slandering the other person for very little reason.

God gave you both a uniqueness that is just your own, and making comments about someone you do not understand is like saying that their uniqueness is wrong. That means God would be wrong. I didn’t quite understand this in my twenties. I was still trying to please people and was hurt when someone didn’t start hanging out with me. I wasn’t being quite myself, but I wasn’t letting others be themselves either. It’s in my thirties that I have come to realize the importance of being myself so that those who are drawn to me know what they are getting stuck with, and know they can be themselves too. 

This is a lesson I want my daughter to learn early. Notice I’m avoiding words like authentic and individuality. While I do believe we need to be authentic, this word has come to mean something else to the world. It is not an excuse for poor behavior or straight up sin. It is an invitation to be the best that God created us to be and to sharpen each other in the faith. I hope this encourages you today to take a look around you and maybe reevaluate your perspective of yourself and others who have been placed in your life.